The Intergalactic Daily Message (D.M. - Die Emmers, get it, its frigging brilliant) Hosted by the Holiday House constituents in Cape Town. Spreading the good news to YOU, whilst creating the illusion that you never left home and we still love you.

Monday, November 7

Saturday Morning Nastyness

Have you ever been in a situation where the rudeness is so blatant and in your face that you almost fail to notice it.
Well the Jam and Mr. J went to dig up their roots back in old Stellenbosch for a wicket cool Friday night. Precisely the reason Mr. J was asked to leave Terrace will not be revealed here (but you can ask me personally and I'd tell you, its kak funny), but is not about that, this is about the next beautiful Saturday morning. The kinda morning where you feel a little bit queezy, and where the only solution would probably be a kick ass brekkie with a side order of sunshine and the morning paper. Sold.

Well our lovely hostesses recomended a place called Java, a lovely sidewalk cafe under the oak trees. What more could a brother want? So we pull into the bar and order a nice Bloody Mary. The wonderfull thing was that the lady was making it right in front of us so I could customise it to my needs. Extra dash here and a little slap over there. Almost too perfect. Suddenly a blond lady (about 45 years young) come and stand next to me and start speaking to me as if I was her long lost brother in law.

BL:who in their right mind drinks a Bloody Mary in the morning?
jam: ( abit taken aback) When are you supposed to drink it then?
BL: Well definately not in the morning.
Jam: I dont understand
BL: well you must have been really drunk last night if you are still drinking in the morning.
Jam: (at a loss of words) excuse me?
BL: You must have drunk through the night and now you are carrying on.
At which time Mr. J comes back from the toilet.
BL: (to the bar girl) How much alcohol are in those drinks?
Bargirl just keeps quiet
Mr. J: (wispering to me) Dude, I leave you for a second and you start causing fights
Jams: (wispering aswel) Dude, I didnt do anything, she attacked me out of nowhere
BL: (still crapping on the Bar girl) Do you know that it is illegal for this coffe shop to sell alcohol before 10 o'clock. I actually have a good mind to speak to someone about this. this is wrong.
Jams: cant we just predend it's tomato juice.
She then takes my drink, takes a big wiff and pull up her nose.
Bl: well its defiantely not!!!
Mr. J: Come on, we dont come to Stellenbosch often and we though we'd celbrate with a nice Bloody Mary. Its not a big deal, Its done all over the place.
BL. well this place could have lost its licence, and only people that are really drunk and drank all night needs to drink more in the morning.
Mr. J: so what now?
BL: ( she just stares at both of us) well you know what, I'm going to take my coffee and go and drink my coffee at my place of business.
and she walks off
Jam: (on the inside) Hoo fucking whoo, yes thats right, fuck right off you stupid bitch (on the outside) goodbye, have a nice day.

She actually ruined the next 20minutes of my morning, that is until our brekkie arrived and all was well again.It turns out she was the owners wife and she worked at this store next door selling who knows what. But I cannot believe that there are people like that out there harrasing customers. We are not students, we are paying customers comeing to her husbands place of business, trying to have a good time, and she treats us like her kids who crapped on her couch. All I have to say is: WHAT A FRIGGIN BITCH


Blogger kyknoord said...

As pick-up lines go, anything that commences with "who in their right mind..." is a non-starter. Obviously she wanted you, but couldn't think how to break the ice.

7:54 AM

Blogger Slammin Jammin said...

Aaaaahhh, I could be having old lady action right now.

8:01 AM


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