Die Bragging Blog

This was supposed to start with me rubbing our fine weather in your faces and then progressing to mention in passing that I had finally acquired my 8 Meg broadband connection and would writing this to you faster than Zola Bud on coke.

But instead I’m here to bitch about the clear lack of logical thought that Orange (my service provider) seems intent on following while setting up a broadband account.

You need a BT landline before they’ll accept you as a customer. (Not that hard to grasp but still I asked what if I didn’t have a landline? The worst that’d happen is I’d not use the fucking internet and surely they’d be profiting!)

So you phone BT and they say they’ll get around to it in 10 working days.

Phone orange, still can’t get BB, despite them being able to see my line is awaiting activation! See argument 1 above!

Phone line is ready, Orange will now apply for a connection which may take…wait for it…10 working days. Very well so I kindly ask that they might send me my wireless router in the meantime.
No, came the reply not until the line has been commissioned! Why I asked (more as a rhetorical question than anything else)? Because I can’t use my line anyway until its commissioned. O’ so then you’ll send it to me express delivery over night as soon as it is…..

No! And some of the brighter lot among you may have already guessed this but it’ll take 10 working days for that delivery! 10 working days!!

For a delivery! Seriously what in this day and age still takes 10 days to arrive (Well in England people, I realise back home if it arrives at all it’s a blessing!)

Anyway the camping weekend well…

nuff said! (Although in fairness I am just being a grumpy old man here as the weather did in fact clear about half an hour after the braai was done and stayed sunny for the rest of the weekend! And I got to ride a bumper car!)

Then caught red eye back to London this morning….


Came home to find the lock had broken on our front door lugged bags and all through the window! And presently waiting for a locksmith to arrive…no doubt it should take approximately 10 working days.


Mondays! Thank fuck there’s only one a week!