Foot in Mouth Disease

We have those moments when you've just had a nice couple of glasses of something and you are feeling happy with the world and you want to talk to anyone who wants to listen. This is normally the perfect opportunity to really throw name.
Let me give you a classic example. Take this guy in the picture here.
Now somehow in the mingling crowd I find out that he is the actual owner of the horse that i am about to bet on. Whoo hoo, maybe he can tell me if I am in the money. So I strike up a little conversation about this and that, but out of the corner of my eye I notice he is on crutches. No biggie, people are on crutches all the time.

Just that second another lady walks by on crutches aswell. I think its a good time to chirp: "It seems that crutches are all the rage this season" His mood suddenly turns sour and he replies with some angry eyes: "I actually take offence to that".

Not really knowing whats going on I tell him:" Ag don't worry about it. I was actually on crutches for 12 months once (i really was), I know what it feels like". But the conversation was ruined. He just turned back to his friends and ignored me. Well, I did the same.

But standing with my mates I take one more glance over to him and then It hits me; HE ONLY HAS ONE LEG. bugger bugger bugger. I have so much foot in my mouth I can hardly breathe. Sorry buddy, didnt mean to, but it was one of those situations where by if you say anything you would just be digging a bigger hole for youself, so I said nothing.
No if you are reading this at all, Mr. One Leg, I would sincerly like to apologise for my chirp. Bad taste. I know. Its still haunting me.

Time to call in the big dogs

Met Slet

Some of your fearless DMer reporters went to find out what this Met thing really is? (for some of them it was their 8th time, but somehow they keep losing all their research). There has been doubts raised in the recent past, but they where there in seach of the truth.










The result: The Met rocks its pants of, there is something to be said for wearing your Sunday best and getting right tanked, more pics here

Shammings - the Tanga

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you the shame that is Mr. Shaun "Omo" Omahony, the coolest cat that Jo'burg has ever seen caputered here wearing nothing but his lucky Tanga's. Do they still make tangas? Who says tanga anyways?
Now if you are wondering what book he is reading, i'll enlighten you, It's called Pillars of the Earth,
Quite appropiate, ha ha

random culture post

Yes, you guessed right, that is indeed a cup of coffee, damn it's pretty, I might not ever want to drink it (well I theory I cannot due to this damn detox that is ruining my life) but if you want to see more coffee art just click here

In other art related news. Art classes has started again in the city bowl, R60 a pop, here is info about our new teacher.
Give us a shout if you are keen, we even paint naked people from time to time.

Areal review

Recently some DMers took to the sky to investigate what all these damn seagulls are squacking about. They are all:" Squackity Squack squauaaaack". What they have been trying to tell us is this: "Dude, you must friggin check the view from up there, its all up in here, y'all"


For more photo's you can mosey over to our Photo Log: The Frippit

Just the other day in Downtown Jozie...

A Zimbabwean arrives in Jo'burg as a new immigrant in South Africa.

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
"Thank you Mr. South African, for letting me in this country, and
giving
me
free housing, food, free medical care, affirmative action job and free
education!"
But the passer-by says, "You are mistaken, I am a Nigerian."

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by.
"Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in South Africa!"
The person says, "I'm not South African, I'm from Mozambique."

The new arrival walks further and the next person he sees he stops,
shakes hands and says, "Thank you for the wonderful South Africa!"
That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Transkei, I am not a
South
African ..."

He finally sees a lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you a South African?
She says, "No, I am from Ghana!" So he is puzzled and asks her, "Where
are all the south Africans?"

The Ghanaian lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and
says......."Probably at work!"

Game Set Match

If you are going to pay tennis, you might aswell do it in style

Dubai strikes again.

To all of those.....

...punkasses that ridiculed the Jam Jar's move to the Boerewors curtain rail.
You dont get sunset like these in the city bowl, do you.


Apologies are accepted in the comment section

Things to ponder while you are attempting a Thursday

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Dont worry that the world ends today; its already tomorrow in Australia!

tiger

To celebrate the release of a street-compatible version of the original 1972 Injector DX Football Shoe Onitsuka Tiger is launching a fun little site featuring the Onitsuka Tiger National Choir's performance of the new song, Lovely Football. The cheeky song is laden with Japanenglish and heralds the sport and entertainment of football.

Its a hellavathing and kak funny. go check it here (with sound)

Fugly

An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.
The shopkeeper asks "Are they twins"?
The woman says "No, he's 9 and she's 7.
Why? Do you think they look alike?"
"No", he replies "I just can't believe you got shagged twice"!

ICBYDHTAC

This is a concept that was introduced to me by fellow DMer: Jace. Its called:
"I cannot belive you dont have this album" club.
Its more of an approach than a club. When you look at your MP3 collection there are a couple of must have must haves. Those classics that when you mention them at dinner parties and the recipient of you conversation goes:" who?" you can safetly say (and Loudly might I add) " I cannot believe you dont that this album!!!" you get the picture.
I am actually working on a ICBYDHTAC soundtrack list. This is what I have so far:

• Garden State
• Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
• Laural canyon
• The life aquatic with steve zizzou
• Amelie
• Pulp fiction
• Motorcycle diaries

The list is much longer, but its my first day back at work, and thinking is a new concept.


Then if you havent heard of these guys, make a effort:
We are Scientists
Brooklyn's We Are Scientists create a kitschy, brash mix of new wave and punk rock on their debut album, For Love and Squalor. Fans of Devo, the Strokes, and Franz Ferdinand should be able to get hip to We Are Scientists. Songs such as "Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt" and "The Scene Is Dead" once more make art rock fashionable enough for both indie rock mainstays and new millennium pop fans.

Taking photo's with Flash

Photography 101




Thanks Willem

Nuwe jaar Photies

To those that havent got them yet, they are all here
Loving your work Mr. Pope

I declare this posting season open

My oh my, can i do it, can i claim it. why not. This was the best holiday EVER.
I did not once see the inside of the medi clinic. Cape Town was not overly down trodden by foreigners ( folks from the land of Jozie, that includes you). The weather was sweet, the people were pleasant, the wine flowed, the wind gave us a gap from time to time and I am still on holiday for another week. Ha ha ha, this is only a office dummy run. Inside outside operation, checking the mails and so forth, and then Wednesday its back down to Kenton.

Old Boonie is working on a page full of holiday pics, and the Pope is working on a image overhaul, so keep that in mind, but as the heading has spoken, post away, my young contributors, post away.