The Intergalactic Daily Message (D.M. - Die Emmers, get it, its frigging brilliant) Hosted by the Holiday House constituents in Cape Town. Spreading the good news to YOU, whilst creating the illusion that you never left home and we still love you.

Thursday, August 31

Die Music for getting out of bed on a sunday

Its time to beef up that music collection with something classy, something jazzy, something cool, something you can play in the background whilst going through you recipe books for a good duck recipe, something fun, something Norwegian. WHAT??
It's rediculous how many Scandinavian artists have made it to my music collection and I am not talking ABBA. It must be the cold up there.
Anyhoozy the copy and paste section for this must have album:
"An extremely young Norwegian-born singer-songwriter-guitarist-bandleader, Lerche has already exhibited a remarkably strong flair for sophisticated pop composition and a talent for witty lyrics. But by moving his previous preference for judiciously applied jazz inflections into the forefront, making the condiment into the main course, so to speak, he risks stepping into some awfully big shoes. His pleasantly reedy tenor voice sometimes surprises with distant, disembodied echoes of Mel Tormé or even a Chet Baker-esque croon around the edges and his aplomb as an instrumentalist remains notable."
Get that album and check his official site here

Is this possible?

Wednesday, August 30

Die Ulitimate dedication

This is so cool, i wish I thought of it. This girl takes a picture of herself everyfay for 3 years and then strings it all together. We are talking 1095 frames here, the result is incredible. Its also super freaky, in the sense that time flies like a mofo. Where were you on the 31st of August 2003? How far have you come? anyhoozy check it.

PS:i found this on Cuban brother blog

Die POTW 8

Damn, this country is weird. Have you ever heard of a "flat daddy"? Sounds like something you can eat, doesn't it? It's actually a cardboard cut-out that families keep around while the fathers are away at war. I'm not joking. He sits at the dinner table, goes to watch soccer games or just sits in his favourite chair.

“It’s great for the boys. They see him on a daily basis,” she said. “It makes me feel like he’s still around. He comes with us wherever.”

He has a few smudges, but no dings or dents from being placed in front seats, toy rafts and swings.

“I try to be somewhat careful with him,” Rachel said. “I kind of carry him by the neck sometimes.”

Ryan, 5, runs toy cars by his dad’s uniformed upper torso cutout. He reads books to him. He plays kitchen and makes him food.

“I say, ‘I love you, Daddy,’” Ryan said.

AGHHHHHH, thats the craziest f*cking thing I've ever heard. Thats why I am awarding the POTW to this entire family. Check it out here

Die Vintage ad of the week.

Maybe they were on to something?

I must admit that it feels like ever since I stopped smoking the other side of my bed has not been as frequently warmed as it used to.

Tuesday, August 29

Die Sketch Artist

How well do you know what you like. Lets asuume that you robbed a bank and you had to give the police a desciption of yourself. Could you do it? I tried it with this cool site and let me tell you its hard,I did'nt even get close. Now take this picture, more receding hairline, broken nose, then we might be close.

Die Movie Tuesday 6

Check this hilarious intro to the Emmy's with Conan o' Brian. He is one hellava strange looking fella. He cruzes through everything from Lost to House (which should have won). check it.

Then the second clip is a brilliant Adidas ad:

Monday, August 28

Die Response

The waiter took a bottle of Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender.

She regarded the wine coolly for a second without looking over at the man, and decided to send a reply note.The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read: For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own. He folded his note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return a note to this to the woman.

It read: For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage and there is over twenty million dollars in my bank account. However, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back."

Friday, August 25

Die Worst album cover ever

This cannot be real, can it? I am really wondering what the music will be like.

Anyhoozy, my next post will be from Phillidelphia (where I will be residing for the next 3 weeks), because if I leave DMers in the hands of my lazy ass fellow contributors, you will be looking at this blowjob with hand puppets everyday for 21 days and who knows, you might start thinking: "Wait a second!! Maybe that Richard and Willy is on to something, maybe thats what my relationship/ marriage/ booty call has been missing. I need to get me some puppet action!!"

Tuesday, August 22

Die Movie Tuesday 5

First up a kak funny ad. Just watch it, the guy reminds me of me a little bit. Which is kinda sad.

Then second up the moment you trulely have not been waiting for. I actually want to slap a PWOT on here, but he is really not worth it. I will not be concerned if yout watch the whole thing, I didn't. It's a sad sad sad day... Kevin Federline's first live performance. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Monday, August 21

Die Apology

You might notice something amiss with your faithfull DMers (our links are screwed up, our commenting is up the pole, our borders need new orders) Well that is what happens when people who work with fruit all day start to feel a little too confident when they screw around in the code.

Well we are not going to fix it. Yet. Pls bare with us while our top enigineers work day and night on something rather pretty. No, this is not one of those empty promises, this is real. Here is a sample to wet your apetite.....

Special hey, pls give your opinion in the crappy comment section, we need feedback

Die Spring is a knocking

The frippit is getting all outdoorsy and shit. Check out this weekend's flower photo's.

Friday, August 18

Die Timeless Age of Cool

The time: 1992. The cool thing to do: Reciting the following at the drop of hat:

All right stop,
Collaborate and listen

Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Then I flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo -- I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.

Now this is where the wannabe's memory run short. This is just enough for minimal street cred. The true prophet of cool is just warming up.....

Dance, Bum rush the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it, You better gain way
You better hit bull's eye, The kid don't play
If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla

Now that the party is jumping
With the bass kicked in, the Vegas are pumpin'
Quick to the point, to the point no faking
I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon
Burning them if they're not quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi hat with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin' in my 5.0
With my ragtop down so my hair can blow
The girlies on standby, Waving just to say Hi
Did you stop? No -- I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block
That block was dead

Yo -- so I continued to A1A Beachfront Ave.
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out geting mine
Shay with a gauge and Vanilla with a nine
Reading for the chumps on the wall
The chumps acting ill because they're so full of "Eight Ball"
Gunshots ranged out like a bell
I grabbed my nine -- All I heard were shells
Falling on the concrete real fast
Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas
Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed
I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack
Police on the scene, You know what I mean
They passed me up, confronted all the dope fiends
If there was a problem, You, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla

And right about here you go for the kill, if someone in the circle has not started to human beatbox, then you might as well stop, cause you are going to need it to pull to the end.....

Take heed, 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My town, that created all the bass sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed, This is a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
Shay plays on the fade, slice like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast, Other DJs say, "damn"
If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
If there was a problem, Yo -- I'll solve it!
Check out the hook while Deshay revolves it. by heart:

Solid gold I tell you, I'm getting tears in my eyes. I know its a bit late, but if I am at a party and someone can still recite this off be heart.... I don't know what to say.... Repect, brother man, respect. I might even start breakdancing.

Thursday, August 17

Die POTW 7

This Week's Pussy goes to more that one person, 5 guys infact, a whole pussy possy, or a Pentapussy if you will (now there is brilliant new word for you, you have my permission to use it willy nilly).
These guys get the POTW for going against everything men stand for. They bare a humiliation to our specie that we might not recover from:

Wednesday, August 16

Die Compulsory Tagging

Reej from PC stuff has asked us to make a list of 5 things that we want to and must achieve by this time next year. Thats a friggin big call dude, since there is one of you and 13 of us.

But here goes:

1- We want a brand new spanking look (the pope has been working on it for years)
2- We want to win a blog award (anything will do)
3- We want to break 500 unique hits a day
4- We want all our booze sponsored (by Diemersdal and Diemersfontein)
5- We want to all be in the same room at least once (believe it or not it has never happened)

I'm gunning for 3 out of 5

Die Mr. Picasso head

My my, what a beautifull picture. WAIT!! whats that signature? Does it say Jammin? I believe it does.
How is this possible ?
Quite easy, there is a site called "Mr. Picassohead" that lets you create your own Picasso. Create your own masterpiece now.

Tuesday, August 15

Die BA

Thanks nev (thats my last e-mail post of the day)

Die Updated Dictionary

As the world changes there is always a need for new words to properly explain yourself, here are some goodies:

The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo!

Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.

A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
then leaves.

The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by
sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.

An office filled with cubicles.

When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and people's
heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies
to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into
when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with
the kids or start a "home business".

Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it
to work again.

Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, 'cause
you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member,
your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known
as a McSh*t with Lies.

The invisible, but warm coat, worn when walking home after a booze
cruise at 3am.

The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze
cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you
got there, and where you've come from.

The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pot, and whisks away all the unattractive people
so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Poter in
your bed instead.

A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
got four buttocks.

An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

A deeply unattractive woman.

Die Movie Tuesday 4

Are you ready for the car of the future, no mechanics, one cable, no petrol, no pedals, changeable body, its like driving your playstation - the GM Highwire

And then a compilation of some funny ass ads

Happy Movie tuesday

Die Suprise

I was lucky enough to be wisked away to a mystery weekend. To find out where and see some pictures - go to the frippit.

Friday, August 11

Die Thinking about Thinking

Have you ever thought about thinking? Not in a philosophical sense of do we think or do we just think we think…! But thinking about how we think and what influences the way we make descisions in our lives. If this sounds like something you may have pondered or are now starting to ponder I recommend you read Blink, The power of thinking without thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. It’s a bit heavy and may need to interspersed with some light reading but definitely worth while.

This is however not a book review blog. What I want to share with you is the power of implicit thought. This shit will shatter any preconceived ideas about how liberal you thought you were! It makes fools of all those politely correct types who are of the opinion that they believe all people are equal except those that aren’t as politely correct as them.

Trust me, never again will you say, "Of course I’m not a racist! Some of my best friends are Afrikaans!"

So if you want to shed light on your inner prejudices, all you need do is give up ten minutes of your time.

I, in case you were wondering, have strong aversions to anyone who’s not a white South African male between the age of 26 and 27…but then its not because I’m a racist, bigot and sexist but because I’m narcissistic…there’s a difference…I think.

Die Star that will not die

It's amazing what you can bang your big toe against if you wake up early enough. Steve Hofmeyer has a blog!! Now if you do not know who he is, then you are indeed a lucky person. He is the South African version of....mmmmmmm.... this is hard.....Take Kenny Rodgers, mix it up with George Micheal, sprinkle on some Hoff, add a dash of ceddar, now stir in some Bon Jovi (without the hair) and finish it off with Vanilla Ice. Yes, an embarrasment to a entire country.

His blog is called Steve se Spoeg Blok (Steve's Spitting Block). Why?Why is he holding his head up? Is he tired of spitting on his block? Or is he just tired of partying so hard, look at the effort to raise his head and crack us a smile. Thanks Steve. Go give one of our biggest stars your support.

Thursday, August 10

Die Cunning Linguist

There seems to be a bit of confusion.

I'd normally let it slide, but you are this weeks pussy after all, and couple that with the fact that you are a fruit hawker, and you have grounds for a solid case. (Plus I owe you some more abuse for the Cheese Festival Post)

A pair of shoes A pair of Siberian Tigers

A Pear shaped ass

A Pear

A pair of Pears, one with a pear shaped ass.

Just so you know.

For next time.

Die POTW 6

This weeks pussy is a bit of a shocker really.

What did you do on your day off Mr J? "Oh, bit of lunch in Hout Bay with the lovely Kara, Sundowners at Summerville, dropped by the Pope's place for some self medication, bit of Sushi for dinner, you know, the standard day off stuff.

What did you do on your day off Pope ? "Nursed my hangover, had a bit of a drive out to Noordhoek with Fran to drink beer with the Hippies, some self medication, watched a movie. It was awesome."

What did you do on your day off Jammin ?

"I went to look at Fabric Samples. They were soft."

This weeks Pussy, back in the day when he still had street cred.

Die Chalk Perspective

If the Ausies were to invade.

Is it only me or is Robbin getting a bit scrawny?

Bob Geldof would be proud.

The world without perspective.

Tuesday, August 8

Die Instant Religious Conversion

In our day of disposable nappies and braais. It seems no one has the time or inclination to undertake anything as gruelling as a religious pilgrimage. But if you, as I do, yearn to experience some heavenly miracle without having to so much as stand up? Then look no further!

All it requires is for you to quieten your heart, free your mind… stare at the 4 dots in the picture for 30 seconds and then look at a wall near by or, for your convenience, any flat surface free of distraction.

Stare at the wall and wait for a light to appear…

WARNING: Muslims and Jews may require religious counselling after viewing this!

Die Movie Tuesday 4

Hey, hey, it's Tuesday. And keep with the fact that its Women's day tommorow, here is the world's best card trick, ever.

Then, if you feel that you did not take enough drugs last weekend, here is a natural hallucinogen

It freaked the crap out of me.

Monday, August 7

Die Last of the young ones

Friday, August 4

Die most precious gift...

Happy Happy news people !

It is my distinct pleasure to be the one to break it to you.... Our favourite married couple, Damon and K-Mac, are pregnant with young Ouboet Macdonald (its along story, but lets suffice it to say that Obud was the name of the Island in Bali where the Mac D's spent the first night of "Operation Baby-Mac", and "Carpark Macdonald" just didnt sound right. (I hear you Ess, have some bloody respect.)

Positively Glowing...

Massive Die Emmers Congratulations and much love to both of you, We actually cant wait.

This just in: With the relentless progression of technolgy, it is now possible for scientists to accurately predict what a specific couples offspring will look like. So without futher adue, I present to you, Ouboet Macdonald, age 1.

I know Ess I know. I just couldnt resist.

Die sunday Bloddy sunday

I though i was finished posting for the day until I stumbled upon the fantastic gem, "New respect georgie", thats all i can say

Die Robertson Weekend

Die way some people see things ! ?

Thursday, August 3

Die Wingman

OK, so you think you are a good buddy. You will take one for the team any day (cause you know one day your friends will take one for you). You have got your buddy's back as much as they have yours.
But when I saw this picture I immediately thought of the old Man Code, particularly no.11

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

Now that you know the law, would you abide by it?

Die P O T W 5

I have no pussy for this week, except this wet one.

But if you feel done wrong and that you really deserve a Pussy, like clockwork, every week, on the double, then I am not one to disapoint. Just read this old article from the Daily Sun about a year ago.It was submitted by our number one fan- DianeClick on the article for a larger view and a larger amasement.

Wednesday, August 2

Die chicken crossed the road...

“A dwarf, a nun and a pirate walk into a…”

Tuesday, August 1

Die real DJ

Having read the 2OV opinion of the Paris Hilton song I couldn’t help but ponder the irony that the "intelligent people’s choice" radio was advocating the spread of this puerile song! Unless of course Seth and little boy have the inside track and that this is set to be MENSA’s new them tune…

Failing that though here is a little something for those of you that hate annoying songs that stick in your head. Follow the link and skip to 30 min into the show (it’s streaming radio) by pushing the 15 min button twice. (For those of you who are not mensa memebers)

And if you are small, annoying and already, by some miracle or lack of judgement, have a radio show I suggest you listen to the whole show…twice.

Die Movie Tuesday 3

Welcome to another fun installment of the MT. First up I will take you on a behind the scene's tour of the new Sony Bravia ad. The first one was the one with all those bouncing balls, now it seems that they have moved on to exploding paint. Whole buildings of exploding paint.Go check the entire installment at (my new favourite site). There is even a Bravia rip-off little vid with fruit, Hillarious, especially if you are in the fruit biz.

And then just a little something something