The Intergalactic Daily Message (D.M. - Die Emmers, get it, its frigging brilliant) Hosted by the Holiday House constituents in Cape Town. Spreading the good news to YOU, whilst creating the illusion that you never left home and we still love you.

Wednesday, May 31

Die Engineering Wonders; Part 1

It was just this morning while perusing the world wide web that it dawned on me… Where have all the intellectual posts gone?

So in a bid to return the community of Die Emmers once again to the road of the righteous and well informed (with mostly useless facts) I will be sharing the wonders of the modern engineering world when they manifest themselves in unusual ways.

Yes, yes I can hear the moans but just think when your kids (or when you start having kids) ask, What’s that Daddy?!

You can comfortably answer:

That my son is a…. Karman vortex street, one of the best known vortex patterns in fluid mechanics. The vortex street is just a special type of unsteady separation over bluff bodies (or an island as in the image). The vortex street is highly periodic having a frequency which is proportional to U/D, where D is the length of the bluff body measured transverse to the flow and U is the incoming flow speed. This periodicity is responsible for the "singing" of telephone wires. In fact, vortex streets are almost always involved when the wind generates a fairly pure tone as it blows over obstacles.

Ahh now don't we all feel a little more enlightened?

Die Saroo Rocks

Here at Die Emmers we are not just a bunch of pretty faces (I am using a very broad sense of the word "pretty") , we have some great talents too. Some more hidden than others; like The Pope's ability to reach almost any top shelf or JP's ability to turn into "intellectual man" by just putting on his glasses. Mr. J ability destroy 14 Dubbel Brandewyn and cokes in a hour or Boon ability to destroy Mr. J's motorbike.

jip, they are all gems..

BUT (with a capital B and a capital UT) we have some truly real kickass members too. Take Saroo,( whilst writing posts for DMers is not her strong point) she can sing the crap out of a canary. Saroo has a beautifull voice and writes some damn cool songs. She just released her first 5 songs. All number 1 material. But don't take my opinion, go listen to then yourself. All originals. She has been moving up the gig circuit in Cape Town, everytime bigger and better. Next stop Zula Sound Bar.
Let it be known when Just Sara (her stage name) hits it big that she was a DMer first and a rock star second.

Tuesday, May 30

Die Designers Mixtape

The Designer's Mixtape is supercool. They invited designers from around the world to give them a smigeon of their musical taste, their favourite songs if you will.
Now the nice thing about this site is you pick a designer, press play, minimise and forget about it. Its great background music for what ever you are doing, and every now and then a tune comes past that you never knew was your favourite.

Die Parallel Park

AAAH the student town of Stellenbosch, many happy memories. It was the town where i eventually got my driving licence, 3rd time lucky. That traffic copper never saw me coming, before he knew it we where driving up the gravel roads to the vineyards, but thats a story for another day.
The only reason i mentioned Stellies, is that there seem to be alot of young drivers still trying to get to grips with basic road management concepts. Take this young Shumacher in the making. I'm going to put money on it that she is 18, from Durban, 5 foot 2, blond, talks allot and is studying for a BA.

while i'm at it..

what the #$@% ???????

finally start deleting some pics on my phone...

So yes, i was looking through some old photos.. doing the old toss up between good photos and the downright super crap ones that were taken in a drunken stumble (sometimes i wasnt even aware, as my phone has one of those slide open cameras) (although it made for some interesting viewin the next day! "was i there?" "no i couldnt have been!" "but i was!" "ohmygod who took these sick p.. nevermind")

Anyhoo.. i came across an old photo. its nothing special.. in fact it is one of those i should delete.. but i am goin to post it.. for the sake of rock n roll... for the sake of margaritas.. for the sake of being cool...

And ask.. in a very nice way of course!
when the fuck are we all goin to get hopelessly wasted again and wake up to rugby, bloody marys and some weird cocktails mix... ?

Monday, May 29

Die Emmers as a graph

Here's Die Emmers as a graph. Colors used are blue for links, red for tables, green for the DIV tag, violet for images, yellow for forms, orange for linebreaks and blockquotes, black for the HTML tag, and gray for all other tags.
I have no idea what any of this means, but it looks quite pretty, like a bunch of Panseys. Click here and can do your own site or anyone else's.

Happy Friggin Monday

Domkop reviewed our site and yadda yadda yadda. Basically we are shit. I mean, really, what where we thinking....
Also, apparently we are not narcissistic enough, since we only dedicate 10% of this site to ourselves.
WELL all that is about to change, from now on its just me me me me. SO with out further delay here is my morning sunriseI think we have some talent here

Friday, May 26

Seth Rotherham is ill

2oceansvibe editor has got something seriaaasly wrong with him. I found this little clip on Youtube and all I can say is WOW. That is freaky. It is actually making me regret my morning bagel. Just give it a watch.

He looks so thirsty. I'm no doctor, but it looks like he might have a slight SDS (saliva deficiancy syndrome). What causes SDS? What causes a man to want to chew of his own jaw?
Couple of things come to mind. - Columbian marching powder, Claremont happy pills and a vast array of substances that get imported up someone's anus.
From everyone here at DMers, please Seth- GET WELL SOON.

Story of my life

Thanks nev

so, how was the office?

In the mist of someone's recent return I decided to take yesterday off work and go exploring a little bit.

Thursday, May 25

SA Monopoly

Wednesday, May 24

Diary of a flight attendant

She was fired for postosting the following pictures on her blog
People are weird

Tuesday, May 23


The new Oliver Stone movie World Trade Centre seems to be a potential airplane-load of controvecy. I went to check the trailer and got side tracked by some interesting comments:

UNBELIEVABLE! Simply Unbelievable! Could a fillm be any more offensive? I'm completely disgusted as both a filmmaker and as an American. Honestly. I can now say that I truely have no repect for Oliver Stone. Disgusting.

And then

Go fuck yourself. You whining little piece of shit. It's okay for Hollywood to make movies about cowboys slaughtering Indians, Hitler gassing Jews and omfg any flick with Arabs being served up a nice can of whoop ass but when they want to portray two Americans stuck under the rumble with nothing but hope from this countries worst terrorist attack and that disgust you?
And some more

Dude, it is in HONOR of these men, if you think this as a way to offend or hurt any ones feelings then get a life bro. Myself as a filmaker respect it as a film and a message. And you honesty need to find some wehre else to spread your bad mood you fucking queer. If i see any of your lame as videos on here ill be sure to give in MY two cents BITCH!

Best you go check it for yourself

Monday, May 22

Shopping in Jozi

Get your crime stats
here. Its insane.

That old pair of jeans

I've been a big fan of Fatboy Slim since my varsity days.
Yo, I would break plenty of hearts on the dance floors of Stellenbosch everytime the DJ put down:" Check it out now, funk-soul-brother". So there is still a little soft spot for mr. Norman Cook everytime he brings out something new. And everytime he brings out something new, it's good.

Check out the video to his single:" That old pair of jeans"

Brilliant, is all i can say

Model reveals her jewels


A model has been coated in a million individual Swarovski crystals and is being slowly undressed online.

A model has been coated in a million individual Swarovski crystals and is being slowly undressed online /Europics

The crystals are being sold off individually on eBay for upwards of one euro (68p) each.

As the crystals are sold, more and more of model Chantal is on view online at

And the last successful bidder will have the final crystal delivered personally by 20-year-old Chantal - wherever they are in the world.

Auction organiser Marion von Kuczkowski from Berlin said: "I hope the beautiful photos motivate buyers to make hantal visible in all her beauty by purchasing some of the stones."

Friday, May 19

One for the Grandchildren...

The Party that never happened

We actually never got around to having this kick ass event of the year. What happened? Time bloody flies when you are stuck at the wrong end of a wiskey bottle.
Anyhoozy, Sorry Mr. pope for having you design this for us. It looks nice though. The party would have rocked. Mabey next summer, hey....

Friday thought

Tell me this....

Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

Thursday, May 18

Hot town, living in the city

People ask me and mr. J:" why did you guys move to the suburbs?"

We don't really have a straight answer to give them:" peace and quiet, the ocean, less robots and so forth" not really any particular good reason to give them. Now i have one.

Just take a look at these pics. This all was taking place on Tuesday, right infront of our old building. Thats where i used to go get a lamb and mint pieSometimes i would buy some smokes at that corner cafe
And there is that cute new laundramat.

Can you friggin believe it. But as i said luckily we moved at the begining of this year to a more serine enviroment. Big bay, happy days.
thanks Diane for the pics

Thursday Breakfast

Wednesday, May 17


When the rest of the world will be able to watch it and we can start downloading dodgy cinema recordings.(Africa) Yeah!

You tube Rocks. If its crap, you will never see it. Doesn't matter if it's offensive or in bad taste. By the people for the people. For those with a bit o' extra bandwith, here are some damn good clips well worth seeing:

  1. Hans and Frans - two german guys, hellava funny stuff
  2. CNN catches Bush off guard- I almost want to believe that he is a standup comedian
  3. Fat kid sees his ass- beautifull stuff
  4. Cool guitar solo
  5. Friggin awsome human beatbox- so cool, you do not notice the hair
  6. Some chicks karaoke- strangely nice to watch
  7. If Gore won the election - Brilliant SNL skit
That should keep you busy for a while.


Attention all DMers!!!

Its time for the very first DMer Soccer World Cup pool. Yeah, whoo hoo!!! Can you feel it? Can you feel it?

How does it Work?
  1. R100 gets you in
  2. You pick a team in the Soccer world cup.
  3. The person whose team get the furthest - win the pool. easy peasy japanesy
  4. Entries close by the kick-off of the first game.
  5. No money, no love
  6. You are not obliged to buy any of the losers any drinks should you win.
  7. More than one winner, we spilt the pool.
Cool beans, contact me should you be interested. South Africans only ( i am not dealing with foreign currency).

All the participants will be revealed by that first kick-off.

Tuesday, May 16

listen up

Leon Schuster is making a follow up to the movie


The new one will be called



Is life getting you down?

How about a little Perspective

Last letter from India

Esmarelda is on her way back:

"Since last i wrote we have been on the go non-stop: We did a 2 day hike (12kms each day) and once again almost died, but felt good afterwards. I was diagnosed with tendonitis in my knees (there were two doctors in our group) so my knees were a bit sore. It all paid out though, as we stayed in the most idylic place - a farm on a hill for 3 nights. It was so peacefull with hammocks, a pool and THE MOST DELICIOUS homecooked indian food.
After this we missioned by jeep and train to another hectic city - Amritsar, in the state of Pumjab and very close to the Pakistan border. We visited the Golden Temple,( a huge sikh temple )both by day and night, and was almost crushed by the thousands off to pray. (seriously, have never been pushed like that - not even in africa!) We also visited the border, where the soldiers from both countries put on a little show - it was about 45 degrees, and once again over 10- 000 people, so a bit much...."

Monday, May 15


A guy walks into the local welfare office,
marches straight up to the counter and says:

"Hi . . you know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really
rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter says:
"Your timing is excellent. We just got a
job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants
a chauffeur/body-guard for his nymphomaniac daughter.
You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll
supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours,
meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort
her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom
apartment above the garage. The starting salary is
$200,000 a year".

The guy says, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah well, you started it."

To be young and under the oaktrees

The guys at Akkerliefies asked very nicely that we post something about their site. What can i say:

Stellenbosch students wearing next to nothing in a variety of photoshoots. I don't know i we should condone this kind of behavoir since our contributors are 52% female. Bugger that, the men of DMers actually post more. Now for some local hotness go to Akkerliefies

"Chantal le Roux, recent Top 10 FHM Homegrown Honey finalist, also joined Akkerliefies recently and we currently feature her in a single, very cute, photo shoot, with several more shoots of her still in production, being edited.
Akkerliefies offers raw beauty and sexiness, combined with the very intellectual and insightful personalities of all the models we choose to work with. All of our models are currently studying for their various degrees and our aim in this is to combine the beauty and brains and be different than similar international projects.
The aim of the Akkerliefies team is to create a high quality popular platform to show off the local beauties on campus. And you're invited."

Friday, May 12

What kinda martini are you?

Have'nt you always wondered what kind of martini you are, well wonder no more, all will be revealed after this quick test !!

Click Me

post your results in the comments section, i'm a Blueberry Martini !

loving the brazilian

South Africa wants a SKA (so does tom ato)

Costing about €1 billion, the SKA (Square Kilometre Array) will be the largest telescope ever. With a receiving area of a million square metres it will be much larger and more sensitive than today's best radio telescope. The SKA will consist of many small antennas, with a dense inner core that becomes further apart as you move away from the center.

Looking back to the dawn of the Universe

The telescope will be powerful enough to probe the secrets of the very early Universe, to help us understand the structure of our Milky Way, the origin of other stars and galaxies, how planets are formed and distributed, and to solve the mysteries of dark energy and dark matter. The signals received by all its antennas will be combined using advanced electronic and computing systems to form a deep image of the cosmic radio sky.

The quest to bring cutting edge science to Africa

This mega-project requires many nations to pool their expertise and resources, but the telescope must ultimately be constructed in the best possible location.
South Africa is bidding to host the SKA against competitors Australia, China and Argentina. The core of South Africa's proposed site is in the Northern Cape Province. Because the stations of the SKA telescope will be spread over a vast distance, seven other African countries are joining the SKA South Africa bid. Some SKA stations will be in countries neighbouring South Africa, while some of the far outlying stations will be as far away as Ghana, Kenya, Madagascar and even Mauritius.

South Africa's competitive advantage

Southern Africa is fast becoming a hub of activities in the field of astronomy and related technologies. Winning the SKA bid will be a major step forward for the government's Astronomy Geographical Advantage Programme (AGAP). Other major astronomy players in the region include the Southern African Large Telescope (SALT) in the Karoo, and the HESS gamma ray telescope in Namibia

more here

light so fast, it moves backwards

warning!! for clever people only...

"In the past few years, scientists have found ways to make light go both faster and slower than its usual speed limit, but now researchers at the University of Rochester have published a paper today in Science on how they've gone one step further: pushing light into reverse. As if to defy common sense, the backward-moving pulse of light travels faster than light."

Confused? You're not alone.

quick joke

what happes after 2 days of rain in cape town?

its monday

Thursday, May 11

Give this a listen

It's from a Belgian chat show and never mind that

they are speaking Flemish, just remember that the chap being

interviewed has had his jewels removed by mistake during an operation.

Make sure you have the volume on !!

What a long week...

Seeing as this is the longest week we've had in, erm, weeks - here is a little pick-me-up to get us through to friday!

Two nuns were in the back of the convent smoking cigarettes, when one said "It's bad enough that we have to sneak out hereto smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the cigarette butts so that Mother Superior doesn't find them."

The second nun said, "I've found a marvelous invention called the condom,which works really well for this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later.The first nun was quite impressed and asked where she could find them."You get them at the drug store, sister, just go and ask the pharmacist for them."

The next day the good sister went to the drug store and walked up tothe counter. "Good morning sister", said the pharmacist. "What can I do for you today ?"

"I'd like some condoms please" said the nun.

The pharmacist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked "How many boxes would you like - there are twelve to a box."

"I'll take twelve boxes - that should last about a week" said the nun.

The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time, and was almost afraid to ask any more questions, but his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice, "Sister, what size condoms would you like -we have large, extra large, and big liar size."

The sister thought for a minute, and finally said "I'm not certain, perhaps you could recommend a good size for a Camel.


If you have not heard about adidas's adicolor initiative, this is your lucky day.Adidas gave 7 colors to 7 Directors to make 7 short films about that particular color. All had the same budget of course.

The final one is finally finished, so now you can view them all.

They are all brilliant, i like red the most, but view them all. Very nice for you iPod too.

Wednesday, May 10

I've had it with these snakes

Wouldn't this title look better with two exclamation points at the end? Director Ellis follows up Cellular with this airborne thriller, which bloggers jumped aboard as soon as it was announced. The film was so hot in the summer and fall of 2005, we're surprised the release date wasn't pushed up. By the time production had wrapped, the buzz remained so high that New Line called for a week of additional filming -- so their PG-13 baby could mature into an R-rated monster.

Bloody Mary Legend

The legend claims that the evil woman can be summoned by chanting "Bloody Mary" into a mirror anywhere from three to one-hundred times in a darkened room lit only by a candle. (Thirteen seems to be the most popular number of chants, appropriately so.) The bathroom is the most popular setting to test out the legend, but other dark rooms seem appropriate enough.

After the given amount of chants, the spirit will then appear in a mirror and claw your eyes out and death will follow. Other variations have her driving you insane or pulling you into the mirror, never to be seen again.

Who Bloody Mary really is remains a mystery. While there are many versions of this story, most accounts point to a woman named Mary Worth, who was horribly disfigured in a car crash. Some people still tell of a witch who was burned at the stake and has returned for revenge, or it the devil himself who comes for your soul.

Drunk and Disorderly

Bees know by instinct something that took humans centuries to realise: too much alcohol is bad for you and for your family. Scientists at the University of Queensland have observed bees getting drunk on nectar, which ferments at high temperatures. The bees can't find their way back to the hive, but bang into trees or simply fall to the ground, where they are taken by predators. Those that make it home are rejected by the guard bees at the entrance to the hive, persistant bees may even be stung to death.

A Bee secretes a chemical that allows bees to recognise each other. Possibly those returning drunk don't smell the same as when they left.

Even if they survive their binge, the hangover marks them for life. They can never work effectively again, and will die young. Even more serious, if they are accepted back into the hive and regurgitate the fermented nectar for other bees, the hive's food supply becomes "spiked". The result is a depleted population and reduced food for the winter.

hot off the press

Drunk Monkeys act like Humans

Seems like some scientists are working overtime on some really important issues

The study basically confirms that humans aren't alone when it comes to getting a little tipsy. Monkeys also enjoy it. The quote of the article had to be: "It was not unusual to see some of the monkeys stumble and fall, sway, and vomit," Chen added. "In a few of our heavy drinkers, they would drink until they fell asleep." Whole article

Sometimes drunk people act like monkeys too

Tuesday, May 9

This is not the usual type of DMers post, but i thought this might be worth knowing:

Reasons to drink up!

- You need to be well-hydrated to ensure all your organs are working properly. They will not (especially in Dtox month)work at their best if you are not hydrated.

- The thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.

- Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.

- One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study.

- Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

- Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

- A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

- Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

Finally! Star Signs you can trust.


damn these people are quick

thanks Diane

Monday, May 8

BUSTED: Mr. J shows us his cannon

I think he is trying to compensate for something

Probally the fact that he never had a pony growing up...


When on-line dating fails...

If you are not doing anything tonight...

...then you must definately go to

43 DeVilliers Road Zonnebloem Cape Town Tel: 021 465 2106

and if you mention that you heard about this on DMers then you will not get in for free

BUSTED: The Jammin squeezing into another girl's mini...

News from the Tibetian border

Our avid reporter , Esmarelda, strikes again:

"we spent a night in Mandi, a small town in a valley (and therefore once again boiling hot.) We stayed in an old palace, which was beautiful, but very run down. We spent the afternoon walking around the town, and stopping in at various hindu temples along the Beas river. That night we stumbled along a magic show - apparently the best magician in India - Samrat Shankar - and God, was it hilarious. We were the only tourists, so naturally were incoroporated into the act. I had to hold a key for some handcuffs, and then had to go on stage and unlock him - We then had to pose for photos with the magician for his marketing - not my best moment ( as i am a real traveller, with no make up etc). It was a really hilarious show though - felt like we were stuck in a time warp..."

Brilliant. And this photo is the real Samrat Shankar, I cannot believe I found a photo of this guy

Friday, May 5

For all you online daters

I'm not going to name names, but you know who you are.

thanks diane

Thursday, May 4

B.O.E.R.I.E. hits the big screen

It seems that this little movie could have been inspired by the B.O.E.R.I.E