This is gonna blow your mind

Now I got a thinking the other day, Why do we love Tequila so much. It tastes like shit, it is overpriced, it gives you a hangover gaurentee (signed, sealed, delivered). Is there a force that is driving us to shout over a madening crowd: " who is in for another tequila?"
Is it possible that we have no control over the situation. Hear me out for a second. Lets imagine there was a subliminal message broadcasted to a entire generation of kids that would alter their drinking habits for years to come. Now think of yourself on any normal night of hitting town, am I right in saying that you are:

Dashing and daring,
Courageous and caring,
Faithful and friendly,
With stories to share.
All through the forest,
They sing out in chorus,
Marching along,
As their song fills the air.


This could probally describe anyone cruzing the town for chicks, having a drinkalong with your buddies, a good dinner party, a decent booty shaking session

Now enter the tequila

Magic and mystery,
Are part of their history,
Along with the secret,
Of gummiberry juice.
Their legend is growing,
They take pride in knowing,
They'll fight for what's right,
In whatever they do.

Gummi Bears!!
Bouncing here and there and everywhere.
High adventure that's beyond compare.
They are the Gummi Bears.
They are the Gummi Bears!!

Read it again and let it sink in.

This is just freakin me out. We've all been programmed as we've been enjoying our afternoon cartoonies. And who is the largest shareholder in Jose Cuervo. Walt Disney of course. They saw us comming a mile away. Enjoy your weekend. Moo ha ha ha ha

The final frontbeer

Whoo hoo, one more day and then we hit the ever anticipated, unelongated weekend. Now as many of you know its October, which means its Beer month. Cause, unlike you Europeans with Munich on your doorstep, we have to make do with smaller scale October Beerfests. The good news is that there is allot of them and they are not all on the same weekend. Here are some goodies:

• Oktoberfest at the Paulaner Brauhaus
• Cape Olive Fair
• Helderbrau (thanks Boon)
• The one at the German school up in TamboersKloof
• And some others

The only downside is that all of this falls smack bam in the middle of Health Month (Me and Mr. J's attempt to look good on the beach this summer) But I am sure that we can work our way around it.

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

Sean O'Casey (1880 - 1964)

QWOD

beseech

(transitive verb)
[bi·SEECH]

1. to beg or implore somebody to do something; 'I beseech you to RSVP to the DMer River Camp weekend before its too late':

Anyhoozy, tommorow might be the start of my Golf career, more news on that later.
Keep it real mochacho's

Born and bred

The difference in definition between "guts" and "balls"!

Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with your mates, being

assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you

still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of

perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bum

and having the balls to say, "You're next fatty."




ha ha, but if you want to see something crazier,
check out these  vacation pictures of some random dutch girls,
I take it they are not shy

Cute

Olive or a twist.......Problem solved

And just when you thought no man or woman could improve
(in my opinion - I’m still fighting it out with some old school individuals)
the ultimate drink.......................... The Vodka Martini not gin martini….noooo Vodka martini.
Its here.....Vodka infused Olives.......it really is sheer genius. They’ve managed to take the one semi nutritious thing and gave it a kick…..now you really will beg for an extra olive.

The excellence of it all is in the absolute simplicity….why haven’t we thought of this revolution in the cocktail world….we could have made millions ….millions I tell you

And now the recipe:

“What about those vodka-infused olives?
Simple, get a fresh jar of olives, pour out olive juice and fill with vodka, replace lid and refrigerate for 5-7 days.”

The question i have is, can you actually wait the 5-7 days..........?

River vs. Liver

WORLD, the time has come to...
WORLD, the time has come to PITCH YOUR TENT

Yes people, I am se - ri- aas. Its the second ever DIE EMMER "get back to your roots", CAMPING WEEKEND.
Now imagine this:

Nothing but a steady flowing Olifants rivier on your stoep, endless clementine orchards at your back door, the best damn potjie ever bubbling away at your feet, a nicely wooded chardonnay in your hand, the African sun on your face and in the corner of your eye seeing Mr. J rolling down the hill caught inside a Tractor Tjoep going aaaahhhhhaaaaaaaaooooooooo splash.

No it really is that good and here is the better news: Everybody is Invited. All you need is your tent, cozzy, sleeping bag and spare liver.

This Madness kicks off the weekend of the 14th October, write it down on your forehead.
Whats more it will only be us Emmers in the Winderness, no other people.

I'm Gonna need some RSVP's. So let a brother know, spaces are limited.

The Place is called the RIVER CAMP and here is their own little write up:
River Camp is situated only 18 km from Citrusdal, on the banks of the Olifant’s River. This very remote campsite consists of two camping site, each having it’s own private ablution facilities. The weekender can engage in activities like hiking, swimming, cycling, fresh water fishing, bird watching and many more…
Yada yada yada, see you guys there

Whats a Monday without a new Emmer

Thats right peeps of different streets, we have a new member. A new Swemmer, a new lady person to report on the intricate goings on in the cut-throat, bolamakiesie,"thats not you carpet sample" world of interior designers.
Who could I be refering to? Here are more clues, she is currently residing in London, drinks like a sailor on shore leave, whips up a storm in the kitchen, has got a shoe collection that would topple the leaning tower of Pisa, Martini shakin, mid winter braai making, avo and bacon,the unmistaken

Jace
Please make her feel welcome everyone. We cant wait for you to make the most of your first post

Its a Friday and she knows it

Whoo hoo, is all I can say to you folks of different strokes. There is no such good news as arriving back in the the lovely Slaapstad only to discover that your fellows Emmers have gone beyond the call of duty and organised a little Hermanus weekend. And they even shuffled in a Braai day.
So without further ado here comes you daily message:

"But in these modern times the Braai Assistant is a great opportunity for young players to get involved in braai and to learn from their Braai Master. The amount of experience that can be acquired naturally depends on who you are learning from, but even Braai Masters who excel on their own turf take the opportunity to be Braai Assistants when they are playing with the big dogs." from The B.O.E.R.I.E.

May you all keep that in mind.
QWOD

kibitz

(intransitive verb)
[KIB·its]

1. to give advice when it is not wanted, especially to someone playing a game; interfere: "Don't kibitz at your Braai Master, even if his behavior is illogical to you."
or " Hey Frank, have you put the Kibitz on yet"

May you all bask in the sunlight of a good weekend, and who knows we might even get a new DMer.

Time to clean this place up

Are you fed up with all the Hoff posts that are going around???

Finally there's a solution!!

The ride of your life

News from Sunny Florida

Hey guys, just came back from the sunshine state, seems like humidity is no friend of mine, for more news and reviews Check it

My first Shamming

I know he is not a Emmer, but Damn, this is just wrong

Howdy fellas, just a quick hoezit hoezit.

I know I promised lotsa photies, but right now its the Jammin vs his USB cable, and I am loosing, so please be patient.
Did a little stint in New york city last weekend, damn it was a rockin. Roof top pool bars laden with hot booties spilled over designer deck chairs(with beers going at the steady price of $12 a pop), hot dog's with everything on it, upper east side apartments, 35 degrees in the shade and even some reports that the Jammin was tackled by a non conformist ottoman into a 6 foot 11 Mexican. Jip, all good, but will reveal more later. I am waking up at a rediculous 4:30 each morning, so i have to go find a coffee now or i will perish
Be good teamsters.

Lost Archives

Today (present, present) I found an entry I had penned on a train a few months ago and had totally forgotten about it. Now in order to right the wrongs of the past I am publishing this previously unseen material verbatim.

Please Note: Those that are easily confused by time talk and fear they might not now know whether they still have to take a tea break or not and whether lunch is served before breakfast should probably stop reading now…

I am sitting (past, past, present) on a train writing, well penning this (Authors note: some parts may be a bit repetitive but are included for authentication purposes) to be typed out later (by later of course I was allowing for the possibility that it may be a few months), on my way to Worcester. The last week has been absolute chaos and I have not yet managed to spend two nights in the same bed! But alas this is not due to my charming ways and dashing good looks although I see why one may think so. Its because we’ve had the pleasure of Pete the sheet, a.k.a The double Cheat visiting and so been touring Scotland in all its glory. It’s been brilliant as we literally tripped through Edinburgh for two days. The first night we arrived we struggled to find a place to stay until we finally got a place in a dorm. The opportunity was jumped at and we settled in to a night of drinking and discovering the new city. We however made the school boy error of not returning completely wasted and perhaps a little earlier than the hairy/ bald guy (hairy and bald in all the wrong places) (who had some how managed to convince some creature to return with him to a six bedroom dorm!) expected. Well you’ll be pleased to know our arrival only briefly interrupted the terrible (I assume she was ugly too with out actually having seen. I saved myself that mental image) twosome before they were once again going about the business of making the beast with two backs (Who’s was hairier is any ones guess…if you into guessing those sort of things that is). I felt violated as the bunk beds rocked back and forth but thankfully our new friends weren’t much in the tantric department and with a huff and a puff the fun and games were soon over…and so was our stay. Pete and I vacated the backpackers by 7am, showered packed and slightly hung over only to suddenly found ourselves driving around a very deserted Edinburgh…still better than where we were.


A day of shrooms, tourists, a bit of a piss up and a night in a much upgraded B&B and it was time to answer the call of the open road again. On our way we came upon (by this I mean we detoured a mere 100 miles) the oldest living thing in Europe…wait for it…a 5000yr old Yew Tree. Yes as you may imagine (and now Ben for you (and for others who were struggling with stories that had no pictures) I have included a picture) it was spectacularly unimpressive despite the occasional branch reaching out to entice us into its ancient bosom of knowledge…no sorry I digress, not even the shrooms helped here, it sucked, magnificently! So turning to the Cheat I suggested we paid homage to the old ways of the Voortrekkers, saddle up and “Kyk Noord en vok voord.”












That evening we arrived in the city of Inverness where we prepared for our final leg through the Highlands along the some really beautiful Lochs. Inverness is supposed to be far enough north that on good nights you can bear witness to the great phenomenon of the Northern Lights…Um…Yew Tree, nuff said.

Loch Ness was our first port of call the following day and after a morning on the banks and two dips in the freezing water a great creature from the dark depths of the mystical water attacked no one. To be fare though I didn’t need to see the thing, it’s a bit like having sharks in the sea, you don’t personally have to have seen one in the area to kak while swimming.

Its now three days after the swim and a day after I started this (that would be past, present to you) and I’m on a train, yet again, on my way to London to try and sort out my life before Monday. When it’s rumoured I have a meeting with reality in the form of a regular nine to five. I suppose the holiday had to end some time…well not till Monday and in the mean time London awaits!

The Jammin takes on The Hurricane

I'm outa here people. Please keep the dream (die emmers) alive, by postests the mostest. I have set up a little information dumpster on the side where I'm just gonna be dropping countless photies and pointless stories of how I am beating the crap outa that Hurricane and what developments my talks with Bush are bringing to our continent. Do wander over to The Jammin Does the Philadelphia if you have nothing better to do. I know I will.